Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse is a 2021 film written by Aaron Drake and directed by Mark Polonia, director of such classics as Splatter Farm, Jrassic Prey and Sharkula. It stars Jeff Kirkendall, James Carolus and Jamie Morgan.
The film opens with a scene from millions of years ago where a giant white shark / megladon devours a Tyrannasaurus Rex before the titles whisk us 50 million years into the future (using the Jurassic Park font of course). As is the norm for these B, C or D shark films, opening credits are over a scantily clad young woman with a soundtrack reminiscent of Cocktail giving a light, peppy mood.
Things turn dark quickly however as a badly constructed shark fin is seen in the water, intercut with both stock ocean footage and a woman snorkling. As if the opening shot with the T-Rex wasn’t bad enough, the poor woman is quickly devoured by the shark and her dismembered body pieces wash ashore onto a sandy beach.
Meanwhile, deck hand Barry is cleaning tie-downs on the pier when he is interrupted by a man in a captain’s hat who approaches him while talking to a friend. He tells Barry to get back to work. (I’d love to tell you who this person is, but the credits omits character names and the cast consists of unknowns who don’t even have photos on IMDB. Personally I think he made the right call.)
A crack and badly cast team is tracking the shark to make sure it doesn’t get next to an oil rig doing things the EPA wouldn’t look kindly on. They continue to track the shark even as Barry claims to have seen something in the marina himself. Elsewhere, a young woman is near the pier and decides to go for a swim. As she does so, a very poorly shaped shark fin appears in the water, attacking the woman with a lot of squishy sounds and even more appendages dispersed in the water.
For a shark movie, this is about the limit of the shark attacks in the film. The attacks, when they do occur, are a mixture of poorly edited closeups, blood in the water, and crunching/slurping sounds. The end of the film where the characters find “shark eggs” is not only predictable, but excruciating as the characters themselves even proclaim that sharks don’t lay eggs, but this one does!
Ok, let’s get to the review. As you can probably tell, this was a bad movie. Not just a bad shark movie, but a bad movie. Bad writing, bad directing, bad effects, bad acting – just plain bad. Out of all the films I have reviewed, this is the only film (as of this writing) to achieve 0 stars.
From the CGI of the shark (which reportedly was footage from the video game ARK: Survival Evolved, to the practical shark-fin that looked like a piece of insulation fell into the water, to the bad acting by everybody but most significantly the marina manager, to the belabored scenes of the tracking team, to the Cocktail soundtrack that bookends the film – finding one good thing about this film is difficult.
Unless you are looking for the worst-of-the-worst films of all time (including shark films) or are greatly inebriated or otherwise, I can easily recommend passing on this film. But if you are curious, you can find it for free on TubiTV or for purchase/rental on Amazon Prime.
1 thought on “Film Review: Jurassic Shark 2: Aquapocalypse”
Thanks for taking a shot for the team. I won’t be watching this one. Your review sounds more entertaining than the film.